One major part of our newest blessing has yet to be shared on here. As I cant contain my favorite part of this story in any longer...today I will fill ya in :)
Back in Feb. of this year I was pregnant via IVF and very excited at the possibility that this pregnancy was going to be different, this baby was going to live. We prayed every day throughout the day for life and health, and for everything to be just right. Every night sweet Ilana would put her hand on mommy's tummy and pray, "Dear Lord, Please bless my brown brother or sister." Chad and I would just look at each other with blank stares wondering how we were going to explain to her that this baby was not going to be brown like her.
In early April our baby died and telling Ilana was enough to make me madder then ever. To feel hurt myself is one thing, but to imply it upon your child is so much harder. Telling her was the saddest little moment, how she looked at us like we were lying and asking us over and over if it was true. For days she would continue to pray over my belly the same prayer she had said before..."Dear Lord, Please bless my brown brother or sister!" We would just look at each other again with sadness and heartbreak for her. How would we get her to understand that it was just not possible?
Soon after when we were approached with the adoption of our soon to be baby, we began praying again. Asking for health and safety. "Elle", our birth mother, explained to me one day on the phone, after telling her Ilanas prayer, that she felt this whole thing was from God for a number of reasons. One very obvious one was that her baby was going to be BROWN. We were ecstatic to say the least! God answered the prayer of a little girl who wanted so badly for her sibling to be brown like her. We were so pleased to be reminded that God loves us and cares about every detail. He loves for his daughters to ask Him of things and He really likes to show His mercy to us when we believe there is no possible way.
We have 6 days till Ilana's brown brother arrives...
What a long road it has been and for him it was all worth it!
Love and prayers to you...Asking God on your behalf every single day!
Showing posts with label secondary infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label secondary infertility. Show all posts
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Small Moment...Big lesson
A few days ago I was frazzled at the seams and frigid to say the least. Keeping up with work and my list of things at home were taking up every thought in my brain, besides that I forced in our first grade homework..as I'm hoping I'm not the only homeschooling mom that has rushed days. I was tense and aggravated at every episode that came my way. The farm was being "too needy" with new puppies and chores, the phone was beckoning me at every moment, and the stressful wait of our adopted sons arrival was hanging in the air. His anticipated arrival has by far had me responding radically to every situation. Every appointment/plan hinges on his grand entrance. I am sitting on the edge of my seat in waiting mode.
All while my home circus was in full bloom & my mental state was racing rapidly, Ilana danced and swirled around the house as if it was her play yard...she sang, and twirled, laughed, and played. She turned on music and swooped around the house on her roller skates in and out of each room with a huge smile on her face. I was too busy to notice at first. She put 100% in trying to turn in a fast circle while skating around and weaving in and out of her favorite puppy as he tried tirelessly to keep up with her. She ran up the stairs and slid back down them, raced back up again and played hard. She had a animated play with her dollies and stopped for a breather to watch Strawberry Shortcake...then she was off again. I hushed her during phone calls and silenced her when she asked questions as I was on the computer or in the middle of something that seemed important.
During lunch time I placed her at the table with her microwaved meal and huge glass of her favorite, strawberry milk. She was big eyed and full of joy as I laid it upon the table. Just as I was turning away to grab something else, my hand caught the edge of her glass and in slow motion we watched as the cup tipped towards her. It crashed without remorse and with a huge intake of air Ilana and I both gasped aloud. I stopped and just looked at her, sitting so pretty in her favorite red dress and matching shoes. She looked like a princess with a shocked expression on her dear face. I didn't know what to say, I expected her to be angry and before I could tell her I was sorry she let out to my surprise the biggest laugh. She belly laughed with all her might..its crazy how addictive a laugh can be. In the midst of milk and pink strawberry flavoring we hugged and laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes.
We cleaned it up together and I shut down the world for the rest of the day to hang out with her.
That night as I tucked her into bed Ilana says, "remember when you were mad today when things were going bad but when my milk spilled we laughed?" In adult terms I took that as..."remember when you were grouchy when you didn't get your way but when I didn't get mine I still found something to be happy about" It was a big reminder for me...She is a big reminder to me! Things dont have to be tense, I dont have to let my day make me miserable, and rushing around gets me no where fast!
Hoping that I can remember this little lesson as the days get closer to baby time, and work gets more involved with Faith N Fertility. Praying for peace...and wisdom.
All while my home circus was in full bloom & my mental state was racing rapidly, Ilana danced and swirled around the house as if it was her play yard...she sang, and twirled, laughed, and played. She turned on music and swooped around the house on her roller skates in and out of each room with a huge smile on her face. I was too busy to notice at first. She put 100% in trying to turn in a fast circle while skating around and weaving in and out of her favorite puppy as he tried tirelessly to keep up with her. She ran up the stairs and slid back down them, raced back up again and played hard. She had a animated play with her dollies and stopped for a breather to watch Strawberry Shortcake...then she was off again. I hushed her during phone calls and silenced her when she asked questions as I was on the computer or in the middle of something that seemed important.
During lunch time I placed her at the table with her microwaved meal and huge glass of her favorite, strawberry milk. She was big eyed and full of joy as I laid it upon the table. Just as I was turning away to grab something else, my hand caught the edge of her glass and in slow motion we watched as the cup tipped towards her. It crashed without remorse and with a huge intake of air Ilana and I both gasped aloud. I stopped and just looked at her, sitting so pretty in her favorite red dress and matching shoes. She looked like a princess with a shocked expression on her dear face. I didn't know what to say, I expected her to be angry and before I could tell her I was sorry she let out to my surprise the biggest laugh. She belly laughed with all her might..its crazy how addictive a laugh can be. In the midst of milk and pink strawberry flavoring we hugged and laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes.
We cleaned it up together and I shut down the world for the rest of the day to hang out with her.
That night as I tucked her into bed Ilana says, "remember when you were mad today when things were going bad but when my milk spilled we laughed?" In adult terms I took that as..."remember when you were grouchy when you didn't get your way but when I didn't get mine I still found something to be happy about" It was a big reminder for me...She is a big reminder to me! Things dont have to be tense, I dont have to let my day make me miserable, and rushing around gets me no where fast!
Hoping that I can remember this little lesson as the days get closer to baby time, and work gets more involved with Faith N Fertility. Praying for peace...and wisdom.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Everybodies got their babies!
This last two weeks have been a range of emotions including rejoicing with friends and a deep analysis of what time of year it is.
3 very good friends had their babies these last few weeks..leaving me with a awe of God for the miracles He allows and also a reverence that I still need Him very much.
Friend #1 has had several miscarriages including a precious pregnancy loss of twin babies. Our emotional connection has always been strong due to heartache and hope that God overrides all that is hard in this life. She felt very strongly that she would never carry her own children and so her family sought out adoption avenues. Through prayer and grace, she now has 3 beautiful children that are born from her heart! Unlike God, (being sarcastic) He blessed her recently with a "shock" pregnancy that bore her a sweet daughter Kendall this month.
Friend #2 Although she hasn't struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss she has a sweet spirit about connecting with me on the issue. She is careful and loving...gives it much attention to talk and listen about the things I have gone through. 9 days ago she delivered Mihani...a precious baby girl and little sister to lovely Kareese. Their family is full of the most beautiful girls!
Friend #3 is coming home from the hospital today. Our visit in the hospital revealed such love for her new bundle. Gracie came due to the obedience of my friend to allow God to gift them. She is tiny and fragile, new and exciting! She is sooo pretty and my friends eyes sparkle as she gazes on the grace of God that is sleeping snug to her chest.
How can I not rejoice?? Most incredible events and soo close to home :)
3 new girls...3 new lives...
I would be lying if I said I didn't think of my daughter as well especially since she would have been due in a few weeks as well. People would visit us marveling what God had done for us, commenting on her beauty. I wonder if she would've looked like me, or her father..maybe a perfect combination of the both of us. I just wonder... Its not painful today just a thought or daydream of what things could have looked like.
In the meantime I cant focus there too long. Our new son will be born in just a few short weeks. O how I cant wait to study every little wrinkle and movement he makes. He has me more anxious about his arrival everyday. I wait for him with such intensity that must compare to our babies waiting for our arrivals to heaven someday.
Someday! That's the focus today! Some Day! we will all be together again! I read the book Heaven is for Real recently. It touched my heart for I know that a great reunion is coming closer every day!
Here is our current ultrasound, "Elle" is so close to having him. He is weighing approx 5.5 lbs and growing :) ...love him, love him, love him!
Prayer requests:
*Adoption paperwork will be smooth and quick
*Logan to be surprised by God :)
*Healing for Mihani..she has been running a fever
*Faith N Fertility and the families they are helping
*For you...to know, believe, trust, and love God more today then you did yesterday!
3 very good friends had their babies these last few weeks..leaving me with a awe of God for the miracles He allows and also a reverence that I still need Him very much.
Friend #1 has had several miscarriages including a precious pregnancy loss of twin babies. Our emotional connection has always been strong due to heartache and hope that God overrides all that is hard in this life. She felt very strongly that she would never carry her own children and so her family sought out adoption avenues. Through prayer and grace, she now has 3 beautiful children that are born from her heart! Unlike God, (being sarcastic) He blessed her recently with a "shock" pregnancy that bore her a sweet daughter Kendall this month.
Friend #2 Although she hasn't struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss she has a sweet spirit about connecting with me on the issue. She is careful and loving...gives it much attention to talk and listen about the things I have gone through. 9 days ago she delivered Mihani...a precious baby girl and little sister to lovely Kareese. Their family is full of the most beautiful girls!
Friend #3 is coming home from the hospital today. Our visit in the hospital revealed such love for her new bundle. Gracie came due to the obedience of my friend to allow God to gift them. She is tiny and fragile, new and exciting! She is sooo pretty and my friends eyes sparkle as she gazes on the grace of God that is sleeping snug to her chest.
How can I not rejoice?? Most incredible events and soo close to home :)
3 new girls...3 new lives...
I would be lying if I said I didn't think of my daughter as well especially since she would have been due in a few weeks as well. People would visit us marveling what God had done for us, commenting on her beauty. I wonder if she would've looked like me, or her father..maybe a perfect combination of the both of us. I just wonder... Its not painful today just a thought or daydream of what things could have looked like.
In the meantime I cant focus there too long. Our new son will be born in just a few short weeks. O how I cant wait to study every little wrinkle and movement he makes. He has me more anxious about his arrival everyday. I wait for him with such intensity that must compare to our babies waiting for our arrivals to heaven someday.
Someday! That's the focus today! Some Day! we will all be together again! I read the book Heaven is for Real recently. It touched my heart for I know that a great reunion is coming closer every day!
Here is our current ultrasound, "Elle" is so close to having him. He is weighing approx 5.5 lbs and growing :) ...love him, love him, love him!
Prayer requests:
*Adoption paperwork will be smooth and quick
*Logan to be surprised by God :)
*Healing for Mihani..she has been running a fever
*Faith N Fertility and the families they are helping
*For you...to know, believe, trust, and love God more today then you did yesterday!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tests for Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Here is a list I have compiled for tests that can be run for recurrent pregnancy loss. Some are included in the RPL panel but many are not. Research each one separately and be your own patient advocate. You need to know as much as you can in order to prevent losing another child to a lack of information. If you have any questions about any of these please let me know.
UREPLASMA
MYCOPLASMA
GONORRHEA
CHLAMYDIA
SYPHILIS
TOXOPLASMOSIS
RUBELLA
CMV
HEP B&C
HIV I & II
ANTI -PHOSPHOLIPID ANTIBODIES
ANTI- CAARDIOLIPIN ANTIBODIES
LUPUS ANTICOAGULANT
ANTI- NUCLEAR ANTIBODIES
ANTI-THYROID ANTIBODIES
CELIAC’S DIESEASE
TSH
FSH
INSULIN RESISTANCE/GLUCOSE TOLERANCE
PCOS
B12 DEFIENCY
HSG TESTING
HYSTEROSCOPY
ENDOMETRIAL BIOPSY
ALLOIMMUNE DISORDERS: LEUKOCYTE ANTIGEN CROSSMATCH, NATURAL KILLER CELLS (NKA), EMBRYO TOXICITY PANEL (ETA)
MTHFR GENE
VITAMIN D DEFIENCY
G6PD DEFIECIENCY
CHROMOSOME INVERSION
CHROMOSOME TRANSLOCATION
CHROMOMSOME ABNORMALITY
CYSTIC HYGROMA
EXTRA CHROMOSOMES
MOSAICISM
TRIPLOIDY
TURNER SYNDROME
XYY SYNDROME
PERI-IMPLANTATION
INHIBIN-B
SDIA-SPERM DNA INTEGRITY ASSAY
REPRODUCTIVE IMMUNOPHENOTYPE (RIP)
HLA G TESTING- SPECIFICALLY HLA G-725 C/G
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