Monday, January 31, 2011
Back on track
This last week has been a whirlwind of events that has changed and upgraded our protocol in so many ways. Before a women does IVF her doctor will put her on birth control for approx a month or 2 to regulate her hormones and also so that he will know exactly where she is in her cycle. We, Logan & I both needed to start our period by a certain day so that we could get on the bcp on the same day, making our cycles in sync with each other. When that didn't happen we started to panic and pray like desperate children. If we missed our new cycle we would be out for February's treatment. I was down to the hour to start, If I didn't start in 13 hrs I would be done..and Logan has a story to tell of her own as well. Saturday Jan 15th, was the the 11th hr, and that afternoon I started...to my amazement considering I was not due quite yet. We were so happy that we were still on schedule as planned. This meant that I could start taking my bcp now, so the next morning I took my first pill and placed them back in with my collection of meds/vitamins that I consume everyday. Right now my breakfast is...Metformin (makes me so sick to my tummy) baby aspirin, 3 Fertility Blend for women, Prenatal with DHA gel cap, Folguard, 1000 mg of Vit C, Folic Acid, and CoQ10. Add to that a tiny bcp and we are full and ready to go.
As the week went on I was confident as I counted down the days we have til we are off to Missouri. On Jan 26 just 11 days after I started my birth control pill, I used the bathroom and noticed blood. I thought how can this be! I am on the pill, there is no way I could start my period!! I became frantic trying to discover as to why this would be happening. As my brain caught up with my reactions, I realized I haven't seen my bcp in a while. I immediately ran to the cabinet and started pulling out my meds, I saw my bcp laid behind everything somewhat hidden! How in the world could I have missed it? Its the most important pill that I take right now! If I don't take this I wont be ready...its as though it had disappeared every time I opened the door, I haven't thought twice about that pill in over 5 days!!
I called the Dr and I could hear the heaviness on the other line when the nurse said, "I don't know what we can do.." We were both quiet for a few seconds. I wanted so badly to fix this but was pretty sure I just ignorantly screwed up my whole opportunity. Where there is despair there is always hope though..God exists in all things! I heard her voice on the other line say, "take the double dose of bcp, I am calling the Dr, I will do whatever it takes to save your cycle!" Sometimes I feel as though they want me to succeed as much as I do, I hands down have the best Doc and staff possible!
I took extra pills and rested, slowly by the end of the night my bleeding had stopped. I heard from them early the next morning, the plan was to take double dose of them til Monday, then stop which should cause an onset of a new cycle on the day we had planned originally. They did however want me to come to Missouri on Saturday and have a ultrasound done so that we could be absolutely sure that everything was a go. Logan had an appt that morning there anyway, she had been teasing me that I would probably end up going with her, and she was right I rode along as her husband drove us 6 hrs to St Louie!
We arrived in Missouri late Friday night and was able to check out the hotel that will be staying in if things go as planned in February. Saturday morning at the doctor's office I waited patiently in the lobby while Logan and Dave have their appt. I knew this was a confirmation appt for them also so I was excited to hear that they were on target for February. Chad was not able to go with me on the trip so I asked Logan to set in on my ultrasound with me so she could take notes and ask questions I may not think of. When the Dr. started the ultrasound he immediately saw a huge polyp in my uterus. I have never had a polyp before and was a little uneasy. Dr. S explain to me that if I had never missed my birth control pills, I never would have came in for the ultrasound, they would have never seen the polyp and if it wasn't removed immediately I would not be able to precede with IVF.
He made arrangements with a local anesthesiologist to come in and sedate me so that they could perform the surgery. The polyp needed to be removed today if I was to go home and have it done in Indiana, it would never be done in time considering it was the weekend. They took their Saturday to minister to me in hopes that I would be able to conceive in February as planned. Logan was able to set in on the entire surgery though I don't remember her been there, I was comforted so much to see her when I woke up. The Doc calls the anesthesia "truth serum" so when I awoke from the surgery I was in a talking mood. I tried to convince the Dr. that he should read my blog and I told him about my life before I met Jesus, I also told him that my spirit loved him and thought he was the best doctor in the world. There are many other things that I probably said that I'd rather not remember. Hopefully if its too exposing, it will stay amongst 5 people in that quaint space, on that Saturday afternoon :)
Logan and Dave were incredibly patient for waiting on me to have the surgery, it had us nearly 6 hours behind schedule, although now we are back on track and ready to go at the same time in February. Thank goodness I forgot to take my birth control pills, thank goodness Logan and Dave already had plans to go to Missouri, thank goodness my husband was praying me through back at home and thank goodness I am involved with such an amazing team of individuals in St. Louis.
Because of the surgery I no longer have to take the birth control pills, the DNC did what the birth control would of done for me anyway. I started my Lupron shots on Saturday morning. Their purpose is to shut down my pituitary gland so that we can have control over my hormones during the cycle. The last thing we want is for us to have matured eggs and my body release them before we can retrieve them. The shots are going well, I take them at 8:00 AM every morning. I am healing well and feel good, my tummy is upset alot because of the metformin, but other then that I am great! I am looking forward to our next trip to MO on the 8th for a checkup and then back again on the 13th. Please pray for creative ideas on how to not feel so far from my family when I leave. Thank you for staying updated with me and praying for us during this amazing opportunity!
As the week went on I was confident as I counted down the days we have til we are off to Missouri. On Jan 26 just 11 days after I started my birth control pill, I used the bathroom and noticed blood. I thought how can this be! I am on the pill, there is no way I could start my period!! I became frantic trying to discover as to why this would be happening. As my brain caught up with my reactions, I realized I haven't seen my bcp in a while. I immediately ran to the cabinet and started pulling out my meds, I saw my bcp laid behind everything somewhat hidden! How in the world could I have missed it? Its the most important pill that I take right now! If I don't take this I wont be ready...its as though it had disappeared every time I opened the door, I haven't thought twice about that pill in over 5 days!!
I called the Dr and I could hear the heaviness on the other line when the nurse said, "I don't know what we can do.." We were both quiet for a few seconds. I wanted so badly to fix this but was pretty sure I just ignorantly screwed up my whole opportunity. Where there is despair there is always hope though..God exists in all things! I heard her voice on the other line say, "take the double dose of bcp, I am calling the Dr, I will do whatever it takes to save your cycle!" Sometimes I feel as though they want me to succeed as much as I do, I hands down have the best Doc and staff possible!
I took extra pills and rested, slowly by the end of the night my bleeding had stopped. I heard from them early the next morning, the plan was to take double dose of them til Monday, then stop which should cause an onset of a new cycle on the day we had planned originally. They did however want me to come to Missouri on Saturday and have a ultrasound done so that we could be absolutely sure that everything was a go. Logan had an appt that morning there anyway, she had been teasing me that I would probably end up going with her, and she was right I rode along as her husband drove us 6 hrs to St Louie!
We arrived in Missouri late Friday night and was able to check out the hotel that will be staying in if things go as planned in February. Saturday morning at the doctor's office I waited patiently in the lobby while Logan and Dave have their appt. I knew this was a confirmation appt for them also so I was excited to hear that they were on target for February. Chad was not able to go with me on the trip so I asked Logan to set in on my ultrasound with me so she could take notes and ask questions I may not think of. When the Dr. started the ultrasound he immediately saw a huge polyp in my uterus. I have never had a polyp before and was a little uneasy. Dr. S explain to me that if I had never missed my birth control pills, I never would have came in for the ultrasound, they would have never seen the polyp and if it wasn't removed immediately I would not be able to precede with IVF.
He made arrangements with a local anesthesiologist to come in and sedate me so that they could perform the surgery. The polyp needed to be removed today if I was to go home and have it done in Indiana, it would never be done in time considering it was the weekend. They took their Saturday to minister to me in hopes that I would be able to conceive in February as planned. Logan was able to set in on the entire surgery though I don't remember her been there, I was comforted so much to see her when I woke up. The Doc calls the anesthesia "truth serum" so when I awoke from the surgery I was in a talking mood. I tried to convince the Dr. that he should read my blog and I told him about my life before I met Jesus, I also told him that my spirit loved him and thought he was the best doctor in the world. There are many other things that I probably said that I'd rather not remember. Hopefully if its too exposing, it will stay amongst 5 people in that quaint space, on that Saturday afternoon :)
Logan and Dave were incredibly patient for waiting on me to have the surgery, it had us nearly 6 hours behind schedule, although now we are back on track and ready to go at the same time in February. Thank goodness I forgot to take my birth control pills, thank goodness Logan and Dave already had plans to go to Missouri, thank goodness my husband was praying me through back at home and thank goodness I am involved with such an amazing team of individuals in St. Louis.
Because of the surgery I no longer have to take the birth control pills, the DNC did what the birth control would of done for me anyway. I started my Lupron shots on Saturday morning. Their purpose is to shut down my pituitary gland so that we can have control over my hormones during the cycle. The last thing we want is for us to have matured eggs and my body release them before we can retrieve them. The shots are going well, I take them at 8:00 AM every morning. I am healing well and feel good, my tummy is upset alot because of the metformin, but other then that I am great! I am looking forward to our next trip to MO on the 8th for a checkup and then back again on the 13th. Please pray for creative ideas on how to not feel so far from my family when I leave. Thank you for staying updated with me and praying for us during this amazing opportunity!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"Lord, they say." Poem by Soraya Cina
I found this poem years ago and it comforted me in my early years of infertility...
LORD, they say.
LORD, they say "I don't have a child because I don't ask You for one."
CHILD, I say, "I know you and your needs before you ask me." (Matt 6:8)
LORD, they say "I should have a child already because I have been married a while."
CHILD, I say, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:9)
LORD, they say I have not tried hard enough to have a child.
CHILD, "I say it is not human effort which opens a womb. I am the One who grants the gift of children." (Psalm 127)
LORD, they say, "Try this- it worked for her; it could work for you."
CHILD, I say, "Do not fret. Trust Me. Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46)
LORD, they say, "Life is passing you by; many others who are younger than you already have children."
CHILD, I say, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
LORD, they say, with sad eyes and looks of pity, "What will you do now?"
CHILD, I say, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12:9)
LORD, they say.
LORD, they say "I don't have a child because I don't ask You for one."
CHILD, I say, "I know you and your needs before you ask me." (Matt 6:8)
LORD, they say "I should have a child already because I have been married a while."
CHILD, I say, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:9)
LORD, they say I have not tried hard enough to have a child.
CHILD, "I say it is not human effort which opens a womb. I am the One who grants the gift of children." (Psalm 127)
LORD, they say, "Try this- it worked for her; it could work for you."
CHILD, I say, "Do not fret. Trust Me. Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46)
LORD, they say, "Life is passing you by; many others who are younger than you already have children."
CHILD, I say, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
LORD, they say, with sad eyes and looks of pity, "What will you do now?"
CHILD, I say, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12:9)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Billy Fields - The Lord is My Shepherd
I love the words... this is my uncle Bill. He has encouraged me and loved me all my life.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
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